Interracial Relationships

15 Dec

I am fortunate to live in Canada, where overt racism doesn’t (seem to) exist and homosexuality isn’t outlawed by ancient laws. I have been in an interracial relationship for four years and my partner has never been freaked out by me plaiting my hair or watching it shrink after a shower. I’m sure I do some weird things like pour hot olive oil on my head that White girls don’t do…but if anything is crazy–we laugh and joke about it. I was as mystified as she was about the “sock bun” and we had fun doing it together.

Hair hasn’t been a big issue for me. I have heard stories where the other person in the relationships prefers the Black woman to have her hair permed at the very least, and weaved for the length. It shocks me that women have their hair a certain way to please their spouses and partners. Even if my partner told me she preferred me in a long, Beyonce wig or a weave I wouldn’t even think about it for a nanosecond. If we can tell our mothers and grandmothers no, why is it so hard to tell the one person who should love us regardless?

Even though my partner does make an offensive joke once in a while, or asks aloud when my hair will ever grow–it’s such a non-issue that I’m relieved. The pressure to look like a white woman when dating a white man/woman is socially embedded in us, but being natural, we look the best we can because it’s how we actually look. We have gorgeous hair, it just needs a bit of extra TLC. There is nothing wrong with rockin’ your curls. You deserve your life partner–no matter HOW original you may look!



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